we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
