i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
