He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Never underestimate the power of titties
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
