I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
