"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
As shirtless as possible
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
