I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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