You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
