There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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