Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
