My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
