singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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