ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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