is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You are a genius and a whore.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
