Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
