yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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