She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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