your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
im holly from the hills drunk
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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