Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
