PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
