Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
