i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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