i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
