dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
