Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
