My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Fuck appropriateness.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I queefed so loud it echoed.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
