She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
