It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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