I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
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