D3 body, D1 cock
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
