Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
