first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
