i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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