Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
