she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
