I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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