That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
