Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
i out mim tonsoeep
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
