Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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