We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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