you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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