You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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