She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
