Already got asked if we're dating
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
