i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
