he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
