ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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