I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
