apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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