I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
