ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
