at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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