she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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