So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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