i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
