There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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