how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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