is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
