I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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